Starting Over

I can do this, right? Do over!

Firstly,

It's been so long and I left you on a bad note. My dear blog I'm sorry.
It took a while to find myself, and as lame as it is to admit, even though it felt like my life had stopped that there couldn't be anything more important - really? It goes on. With or without me. I've forgiven and forgotten.

And secondly,

A few days ago I told my friend every secret I had about myself. Everything I've been embarrassed or ashamed to tell people. Some of them physical imperfections and others spiritual.
I couldn't stop laughing because I couldn't believe that I could tell someone about the darkness in my life - the things holding me back. Yet as soon as I revealed the shadows I felt better. Relieved even.
I've been working on not being embarrassed. If nothing but embarrassment is going to holding me back then I can do anything, right?

So what is Josh now?

I'm someone full of contradictions. Who wants goodness more than anything. Selfish and rude at times. Knows what his priorities are and continuously forgets. Still wishing for world peace, but fully aware that he will soon live in a place where it's possible and not just a wish. Self conscious yet a little less caring. Simple with a thousand rules.
Trying to do my best which is all that is asked of me.

Hopefully less about me and my drama after this post.
But don't forget who writes this blog and what it's all about.



Remember my name,

Josh

More importantly - me!

Lately there has been what I like to call a "problem" at my (or with my) church.
Which makes me realize that not only am I a selfish person, but I get really angry when I think about "unfair" things too much.
So right now I'm here writing to let out my steam before I make a bad decision (since I still live on impulses considering my brain won't fully mature until I'm 25, but hopefully I'll have died by then...).
I'm so selfish! I always think about myself first and then family and friends later.

I feel like making a few confessions since lately I've been wanting to be brutally honest (and yes it's easier since I'm not doing this face to face).

1. Ramona - I'm sorry! I'm an introvert. Which means that in given the option of hanging out with a good friend and being home alone, I will choose staying home. And even though I said I felt bad and I was sorry - I really wasn't because I was glad to get what I wanted.

2. I don't really care for a lot of people. Especially at Church (lately). Now I only want to really talk to my closest friends (and friendly people - this means you Sheri). Everyone else I just ignore or try to make polite conversation with - I don't feel these FAKE friendships are worth it.
At work I could care less about "guests" (customers) and I'm happier when I get to say "NO" to them. People think they have a right to EVERYTHING.

3. I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS SUNDAY AND IT WASN'T MY DECISION OR CHOICE. I IGNORED IT UNTIL THE LAST SECOND AND NOW I'M STUCK WITH IT.

4. Charlene and Ria. I don't consider you two my best friends. Charlene I think we're good friends, but not that close. Ria we're friends going on aquaintances - yet I still want to be friends if possible.

5. I'm pretty sure I love my family more than God and WAY more important than friends. If my parents or sister dies it would be the end of the world for me.

6. I need to set my priorities straight (including the one above).

7. I have SO much sin in my life and I wish I would be able to get past it and focus on God more.

8. I don't read my Bible. Ever.

9. I think I can honestly say I pretty much HATE Chris Price.

10. I'm NEVER going to do drugs, drink alcohol or coffee.

11. My sister WILL be my best man at my wedding (because family is most important and I really think people to get that straight).

That's ALL for now,

Josh

I Need Boots

I know, I know! I don't really NEED anything. It's more of a WANT - I guess...

But I NEEEEEED these boots!!!!!!

I had the opportunity to first be introduced to my soul mate (in shoe form), when I worked as an extra in a movie set in the 80s, at a fitting. I instantly fell in love.
Girls don't get it. They got shoes a plenty, but guys get three choices of bland material put together and called "wearable". I mean yes it fits, but no I don't want to wear ugly.
Living in Canada I have SUFFERED for so long with cold, wet feet during Winters and I never really sought out a shoe that would encase my feet in dry warmness. Because honestly work boots do nothing for me.

I wasn't sure if I'd be able to find these boots anywhere because apparently some companies had donated shoes specifically for the movie, but I wrote down the brand anyway.
Today I had the ultimate pleasure to search google for what can only be described as my destiny and for $40 NO LESS!!!!!!
A brand new pair of Olive Green Rubber Ducks will soon be on their way to my own home.

HERE they are - Rubber Duck (SMILE)



(Shots taken by my cellphone on set)


Josh

www.rubberduckbrand.com

Ramona's Disney Sketches

AND NOW I take some time off from the usual Silvercity trash talk to bring you my friend's BRAAAAAAAAND NEEEEEEEEEW BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Welcome Ramona MacLean - a newly self-discovered artist who is about to make the best choice for her future career! A DISNEY CARTOONIST!

She came over and had the time (30mins) to make some quick sketches for me to post on my blog (slight inside joke)!!!

Random Cat












Random Fairy













Check out some WAAAAAAAAAAY better drawings, poems and MORE on her blog:

http://ramonasdisneysketches.blogspot.com/

Josh

The Popular and The Hated

***I'm dedicating this blog post to a true life villain - Ann-Marie***

The Hated (thought I'd start with the best):
- Ann-Marie (The one everyone hates)
Bossy, controlling, rude, butt-slapper/sexual harasser.
Asked if she could run the kid parties and SO FAR has made kids cry and has had people cancel parties on her. So they stuck her in Burger King at the back.
Has knocked over a girl onto a metal cart and had a report written up about her.
*Rumour* (quoted) "They cancelled after they saw her face"

- Wesley (The power crazy nerd)
Don't know HOW he was made Team Leader, but he sucks up to the managers and treats us like imbeciles. Also his voice drills into your head and leaves you with a headache of mass proportion. If he would only stop talking...

- Travis (The crappy Team Leader)
Shows up late (at least an hour), "forgets" to give me a break, doesn't relieve me of my shift, and purposely tries to embarrass me after I accidentally make him drop his debit card.

- Matt (The SUPER SLOW Team Leader)
I've made lots of overtime hours working with him.

SLACKERS (The lazies that keep us working way past midnight)
- Jenny (aka: Stupid Jenny aka: Non-Asian Jenny)
- Rachel-Ray (Jenny's partner in crime)
- Nicky/Vicky (The drunk)
- Sergei (The minuscule bad-boy)
- Jamie (The pretty one that never stops talking)
- Katrina (Russian girl who tries to do as little as possible and complains the whole time)
*All of the above are also hypocrites and giant whiners*


The Popular
Farnaz (Manager material)
Is the best of everything in this life. The most responsible and mature person who works at Silvercity. She's sixteen.

Amy (The one that's nice to me)
She's SO good at her job. She likes me so we get along GREAT, but there is a lot who don't like her bossiness. Wait until I'm a Team Leader.

Tejas (The compulsive annoyer)
He is the most obnoxious person who works there (or maybe ever), yet people like him (I don't include myself in "people")

Josh (That's me)
Random people who I don't know start talking to me and asking questions ALL the time. And people like me a lot (which I think is weird considering I find myself to be too proper and bossy).



Josh

p.s. There are Christians at work! I've gone ahead and seeked them all out using my detective skills. You'd be surprised at how nosy I can be.

TOXIC - The Amanda and Josh Show

If you haven't seen our Toxic video then your crazy and need to click the link below!

Toxic - A music video interpretation by Amanda and Josh

Josh

Mad = Immaturity?

I'm mad.

- Ann-Marie the singer, actor, dancer!
More like the brick with no talent aka: the troll.

- Lately I've been more and more upset, which leads me to find a quick solution which I can only describe as immaturity.
I never really had a rebellious cycle in life where I would fight with my parents or anything. Yet lately I've been finding it easy and simple to tell my parents off when they ask me a question. In my head I know I sound like a brat and that they're only helping me, but for some reason it bothers me SO much that I can't always control the way I say things.

- I have a friend who is distancing them self from me because I say things without thinking them fully through and hurt them - and even when I do think them through (over and over again almost everyday) it still seems to attack them in some way. Which to me is crap. Now I feel like every time we talk I'm treading on glass hoping that in some way, shape or form I don't do ANYTHING that will lead to disaster. Do I still want to be friends? Yes. That bad? I don't know. But at least I AM trying.

- Why should I pretend to be nice to someone who I don't like or want to be friends with. You are annoying, stupid and every time we talk I like you less. I don't want to see a movie with you. I don't want to plan parties with you. I really don't want to talk to you. And I really don't care how your doing.

- If you have a comment, whether it be negative or positive, just say it the way you mean it. Don't beat around the bush trying to make me decipher what your actually trying to say!!!!!!!
Did I over sing the song? JUST TELL ME!
Am I a crap of a friend? JUST TELL ME!
Do you not like the way I talk? JUST TELL ME!
Am I a horrible son? JUST TELL ME!
Do you not want to hang out? JUST TELL ME!
Do you not actually want to be friends? PLEASE JUST TELL ME!

I'm selfish, obsessive, immature, and hurtful and yet I'm trying my best.
Get over it please, because I'm past all of this.

Yes I'm like an angry child.

Josh

p.s. I might delete this eventually. I only wrote this to let out my anger - soon I'll realize how embarrassing it is.